How do I talk with Mom or Dad About Home Care?

Change is an inevitable part of life. From the date of our birth throughout our life, each human being adds our own Secret Sauce to this big, blue spinning marble we call earth. Human beings are social animals, meaning we rely on each other to live fruitful lives. This reliance changes and adapts as we move through various stages of our lives. For the sake of this discussion, we will talk about 3 life stages: 1) childhood, 2) mid-life and 3) later life. Each of us accepts and manages differently through these stages; and how we do this is often dependent on the individuals closest to us - our loved ones.

Childhood: In our early years, we are highly dependent on our parents or other adults in our lives to guide us through the process of change. Our brains are stretching and growing - we are learning how to interact with the world. This is a period of enlightenment for most of us and yet we rely on “our adults” to provide communication and direction as we continue to learn.

Mid-Life: As our childhood comes to a close and we move into adulthood, we often feel like we can control the world. However, what we don’t often appreciate is the supporting network around us (often God, family, and friends) that provides the communication and support we need to be successful in this changing landscape. This is by far the greatest / largest stage in which each person participates and where everything they learned in childhood is used and cemented into their lives.

Later Life: This stage is where most of us want to use everything we have learned and earned to begin slowing down and enjoying what life has brought to us. Many want to strengthen family relationships and simply participate in some of the more rewarding aspects of life they might not have been able to due to the frenetic pace of life. In addition, this stage is where we may realize that our bodies and minds do not work the same way they did when we were younger. Help and assistance with some of our basic needs may be required. Straight-forward communication from our loved ones is how we often gather, process, and accept these changes.

How do you speak with your Mom, Dad or other loved one about needing in-home care, support and assistance? It is often a series of conversations where direct, caring communication is so important. Here are a few ideas that may help with the conversation.

• Work very hard to avoid a confrontational discussion – assure them they are part of the discussion and decision. Try to use suggestions as part of the discussion. Your ultimate goal is to allow for their independence and safety as long as possible.
• Prepare talking points that will help guide you through the conversation and refocus the topic if the conversation strays. You can even write your loved one a letter (not necessarily to give to them but to help you organize your emotions and thoughts).
• If the discussion becomes who has the hardest head – no one wins. Remember your ultimate goal and continue working in that direction. You might be able to enlist the help of a friend who shares their own personal caregiving story.
• Again, this may be one or a series of conversations to get to a “win/win” result. Work hard not to confront and come back another time if needed.
• Follow your loved one’s lead and respect their feelings and opinions to issues you address. You can use phrases like “educated decision” and “personal choices” and make them aware that accepting help will often delay a visit to the hospital.
• Remember, at Homewatch CareGivers, we are here for you to provide direction and ensure the safety of those we serve. Call us at (817) 904-4634 so we can provide the guidance / direction your loved one needs. Homewatch CareGivers of SW Fort Worth is here to provide that help. Whether you are looking for a caregiver to help with Elder Care, Dementia, Companion or Personal Care and more, we will match your needs with our caregivers to ensure you or your loved one are treated as a part of our family.
• We are very blessed to be able to share our passion for caring for you or your loved one. It is an opportunity for us to provide care and empathy that others truly need. For more information on our services, contact us today!