Ever heard of the term 'Sandwich Generation?' This is a phrase that dates back to the 1970s to describe the idea of being squeezed from two directions. Typically, people who fall into this category are in their 30s and 40s, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents.
If you find yourself caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, you are far from alone. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, approximately 15.7 million people in the U.S. are in a similar situation. One such caregiver is June Dorsay, a working mother of a four year old, who moved back to Berkeley at age 34 to care for her parents who are both living with Frontal Temporal Dementia (her father also has significant arthritis). While her peers were getting engaged, starting careers, buying their first homes, or simply enjoying life with few responsibilities, millennial caregivers like Ms. Dorsay juggle work, raising young children in a new school, and caregiving—all at once. One thing June regrets is not actively seeking support as a caregiver.
“A few of my friends are caregivers to their parents,” Ms. Dorsay said. “We don't necessarily go to each other for support because we all have our own responsibilities. For instance, one of my close friends is a RN who works full time and has a special needs son who is constantly in the hospital and requires round-the-clock care at home. Every few months we get together, and the last thing we want to talk about is what's going on at home.”
In fact, her busy life is a kind of blessing. “Since I am working full time with no childcare, I don't have a lot of free time to worry about myself,” she said. “Support comes from my spouse, preschool moms, random strangers I strike up a conversation with, or even funny animal YouTube videos.”
While Ms. Dorsay finds fulfillment and happiness in caregiving because she sees it as her purpose, she doesn’t know any other family caregivers her age to whom she can turn for support. Instead, she relies on family and close friends when she needs care herself.
“I would say that it is not beneficial to compare your life with that of your non-caregiving friends,” she advised. “Often, we have more responsibility and cannot participate in as many activities as those around us—but don’t compare your life with theirs.”
For any caregivers, Ms. Dorsay simply suggests empathy. “Take a moment during the day and really look at the person you are caring for,” she advised. “Consider their thoughts and feelings and appreciate them as a person—this will help you stay in love with what you are doing.”
